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Don't be thankful for bad things

paul martinelli suffering Aug 20, 2019

Have you heard the idea that you should be thankful for EVERYTHING in your life, good or bad?

I would beg to differ!

I don’t think we should be thankful for, and celebrate, bad things that happen in our lives.

I think back over my life, and I go back to my childhood.

I grew up at 430 Coolidge Ave. in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.


 430 Coolidge Ave. was a terrible place to live. It was a scary place to live. It was a place of nightmares.

You see, I grew up a child of abuse at the hands of my mother – terrible physical and emotional abuse. I don’t tell this story often. But if you’ve been to my Turning Point seminar, you would have heard more about it there, as I teach what I’ve learned about the process of forgiveness.

I’ll spare you the gory details, but suffice it to say I got out of there as soon as I possibly could.

I don’t think anyone can truly understand the effect of abuse unless you have gone through it yourself. But it leaves a mark on your soul that takes much more than time to heal.

The other day, I made a guest appearance on a Mastermind Call that some of my staff hold each week. And one of them asked me a question related to this idea of what to do when bad stuff happens, and how to find gratitude for it.

I told him, “Don’t be grateful for the bad stuff that’s happened to you and in your life.”

That would be to put your energy entirely in the wrong place. Just like when you envision what it is that you want, you don’t want to think about what you DON’T want, because that would be to create it in your life.

I think many of us have been often told that, no matter what happens, you just need to be thankful.

No! I disagree! There has not been a single moment of my life where I have been thankful for the abuse to which I was subjected as a child. Not a single second of my life!

Now let me put a spin on this for you. There IS something that you can be grateful for in every situation, every circumstance, and every condition of your life.

You see, everything that happens in your life, good or bad, produces the curriculum of your evolution, of your development, and of your growth.

And what I have found is that I can 100% be thankful and grateful for the curriculum that has developed in my life as a result of every condition and circumstance through which I have lived.

Because of my abuse, I learned self-reliance. And let me tell you, especially as an adult, self-reliance will get you far. I found a certain strength within me to persist regardless of the circumstances of my life. And I attribute a lot of my success to the development of this character trait.

Because of my abuse, I learned the process of forgiveness, probably deeper and more intensely than most people ever will. There was a lot of hurt and pain that I had to forgive in order to move forward into a life of freedom and peace. And I walked every step of that journey of forgiveness. And I have been able to help thousands of people walk that journey as well, because of the experiences I went through to learn it.

Because of my abuse, I developed a level of respect for humanity. There is a sacredness in the human experience. We each have our own path to walk. My path is different than yours. Your path is different than your parents’ or your children’s. We each have our own soul’s journey, and there is no allowance for judgement, ridicule, or condemnation as we observe each other’s paths and our own.

Because I have been through significant trauma in my own life, I have this understanding that we are each doing the best that we can do each moment of our lives.

That can be a hard thing to wrap your head around when you see people making decisions that seem to be so detrimental to their own lives or to others too. I’m not saying there should be no consequences for the abuser, but let me suggest that as they live out those consequences, we find a place within our own hearts to look on them with love and light as they walk their journey.

So, as things “happen to you,” let this message serve as a reminder that you don’t need to be thankful for the bad and the negative things that happen. And in equal measure, I pray that you absolutely find gratitude for the curriculum that it produces in your life.

I believe in you and I believe in your dream!!

Hold Your Image!!


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